belated celebration.

so, on 29 march, wearefambly became a whole year old.  amazing how quickly the year has passed.  to celebrate, i promptly got sick.

so here i am two days later, just having finished a steaming cup of hot spiced tea made lovingly by my beautiful h, and i’ve got this immense pressure in my chest, an unproductive cough, and fluorescent yellow phlegm slowly making its way out of my lungs.  mmmm.  i feel like i’ve been chainsmoking.  for the record, there has been no chainsmoking.  or non-chain smoking for that matter.  i’m dizzy and whiny and want my mom.  i think i may drag my sorry ass to the doctor today, in hopes for pregnancy-safe medication that will help me kick this whateveritis before it gets worse.  because robitussin? benadryl?  you are not doing your jobs effectively.  and i am afraid that this is the beginning of bronchitis.

sparky, meanwhile, seems pretty oblivious to my pathetic condition.  she is a busy fetus, working on her moves to the chicken dance.  seriously.  if i lean in close to what used to be my belly button, i can hear the faint sounds of the infamous polka (clap clap clap clap).  she especially loves the shake your wings part of the dance (clap clap clap clap).  shaking her tail feathers is a close second, however.

so yes. this little blog is a year old now, begun a mere three weeks before we dove into the mindfuck that is ttc.  i had no idea what a toll the process would take on my relationship with h–this really deserves a whole post of its own.  perhaps soon.–or if it would actually result in a real live pregnancy, followed by a real live baby.  and yet, here we are.  29 weeks pregnant.  miraculous.  still does.not.compute sometimes.

we have been blessed.  our ttc journey was comparatively short: five months, four tries, the realization that i was only ovulating on one side, a little clomid, a yoga ball and a fertility stone, and we made it to phase two.   as a woman who was diagnosed with endometriosis 9 years ago and was told not to get my hopes up for ever getting pregnant, our “easy” ttc road was a shock, really.  i am in awe of my body’s ability to prove doctors wrong.  i am in awe of sparky, finding her way to us despite the odds.

and to my friends still on the ttc path, i hold out so much hope for you.  i ache when you experience loss, and i rejoice in your hardwon victories.  i only hope that i can be as present for you as you have been for me along the way.

you are my sisters, and part of my story.  our story.
thank you.

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sugar and iron and snot oh my

so i woke up super early this morning and enjoyed a progressive breakfast of:

• a pb&j sandwich (because sparky demands at least one a day)
• a tall glass of orange juice
• a forced glass of milk (because i hate milk)
• a drivethru meal of a egg/sausage biscuit and hashbrown and
• another glass of orange juice, this time with a straw.

while digesting, i had an appointment with a chiropractor. midwife michele strongly suggested a mid-late pregnancy adjustment, and highly recommended an old man whom we’ll call doctor hummingbird.

ok. dr. hummingbird weighs approximately 60 lbs, is probably older than god, and sports the most beautiful comb-over i have ever seen, as it sits about halfway back on his head. also, the combed over section of hairs is poorly dyed black, most likely with just for men or perhaps shoe polish. his breath smells like milk. and he has allergies, as witnessed by the post nasal drip dangling precariously from his right nostril as he told me my head was screwed on a little wonky, but don’t worry he could fix it.
(thankfully, it did not drip, and he blew his nose shortly thereafter. glory be.)

all said, dr hummingbird adjusted me quite nicely by “turning on” certain weak muscles and straightening out the asymmetrical parts of me (including my aforementioned head).

also of note: the receptionist is his wife. michele had warned me that she seems to be an old bitch, and she was right! not a very customer-friendly woman. she seemed more the evil grandmother type. and she walks, bent over, with a cane. she scolded me for being early.

dr hummingbird’s daughter is the other chiropractor in his practice. she wears a boot to correct a serious limp. michele and i speculate that either there is some congenital defect going on in that family, or wife and daughter were dr hummingbird’s first chiropractic experiments.

where was i? oh, digesting. after being adjusted, it was time to have my monthly prenatal visit and glucose test. it was meant to be a 2 hour test, but we all got to talking, and oh shit it’s been longer than two hours! so, we made it a 3 hour test. and i was hungry. meanwhile, sparky sounded nice and restful in the womb, with a 130s heartrate. and as of today anyway, she is head down, which explains all the rib kicks i’ve been experiencing lately. i am still edema-free, and my blood pressure is comparatively low.

finally, it was time for blood, and i am proud to announce that both my glucose and hemoglobin levels are perfect. no anemia! and no sacrificing the coke (the cola kind) i so enjoy (in moderation). i feel like i aced the SATs.

and to celebrate, i leave you with this priceless eddie izzard clip:

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silver lining.

new ticker alert!  countdown to maternity leave. alleluia.

also, my schedule was finally changed after months of whining and begging.  previously, i worked an 11-8 shift, which is nice for the sleeping in, but miserable for the actual spending of time with h.  she is up at 5, out of the house by 6:30, and typically in bed by the time i get home from work.  for these last several weeks of work for both of us, we’ll get to see each other when both of us are awake, in the daylight.  hell, we’ll even be able to have dinner together on a regular basis.  we win.

time-waster alert: are you on twitter? come be my friend. i go by ohchicken.that’s all. 

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blargh.

guess who has returned to help me celebrate entry into the third trimester?  my old best friend, nausea.  thus far, she seems to be largely inspired by scents over tastes, but eff. eff eff.   she sure does rob a girl of an appetite. and motivation to get out of bed (which i must do in t minus 15 minutes…)

/whining.

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um, hello.

my apologies for the lack of posts recently.  lots of life has come and gone since i last wrote, but mostly i’ve been a very sleepyhead.  take today, for instance.  it is nearly 1:30 pm, and instead of being knee-deep into my monday shift at work, i am snuggled in my bed, sparky rolling underneath my laptop.  i have absolutely zero energy, and i yawn and yawn and fall back to sleep awhile.

however, i do manage to muster enough energy to feel guilty about utilizing any fmla leave i am already approved for.  as i lounge in my jammies on a monday afternoon, i think thoughts of laziness and irresponsibility: a more responsible person would suck it up and just go to work.  granted, i could work today if it were absolutely necessary.  but i have a job-protected out, and i’m so so exhausted, and this third trimester fetus is growing her brain bigger and fattening herself up.  and so i sleep because i can.  remind me to let up on the guilt, will you?   (as midwife michele said on that scary day a few weeks ago: my perspective now needs to shift from being responsible about my joblife to being responsible as a mother.)

anyway.  in the middle of all this sleepiness and guilt, we still managed to have our first meeting with our adoption lawyer last week.  i confess that the whole conversation was surreal to me, as we discussed very scary topics like my death, the demise of h’s and my relationship, the coach demanding custody/rights, etc.  this conversation is necessary, of course, and our lawyer is fantastic with the protections.  before we hired her, i sleuthed around the internet for as much info as i could gather about her.  as it turns out, she is a lgbt adoption rights pioneer, who also happens to be very influential in texas state government.  she is the go-to voice of reason every time gay rights make their way to the news.  she is quite the formidable force here.

and. her fee for the adoption and wills is reasonable,  most of which she puts toward hiring gay rights lobbyists.

also, did i mention that she is a member of the fambly herself? and that she and her partner have two adopted children of their own?

as everything stands now, the adoption should be finalized before the end of the year.  now, to birth the child…

sparky is growing so…big.  her kicks are felt top bottom left right simultaneously now.  i feel her as one body contained the balloon of my uterus, instead of a constant whack-a-mole guessing game sensation.  and the bigger she gets, the more real her impending birth is…in a holy shit kind of way.  in a “there’s really only two ways for her to exit my body” kind of way.  cue the fear.  and the humility.  and the exhalation of panic: we can do this.

and now the fattening fetus is hungry.  for more peanut butter, i suspect…

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oh, and another photo

belly belly belly.

what just over a week can do to one’s belly, whilst transitioning from 2nd to 3rd trimester. holy ess. we’re in the third trimester. the coach felt sparky move for the first time this afternoon. he is currently floating.

behold: 25w3d vs 26w6d:

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photo friday: in motion.

…and the first thought that came into my head? “sometimes i doubt your commitment to sparkle motion!”

non-sequitur: here are my in motion photos.

1. my charleydog. she is fastfastfast and can run for hours. i’m confident she’d give a greyhound a run for its money. see what i mean? my bitch gots wheels for legs.
2. lucydog. despite having no legs, she can romp through open fields with the best of them. this photo is her essence. just happy to be here.
3. dogmeeting. we used to live in a condo complex with lots of green space. soon, we joined together with other dog owners and created the dogmeeting, wherein our dogs would romp and we would drink. perfect after work activity. the only thing i miss about living in that place. featured pups: lucy, toshi the pug, and charley.

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update.

thank you so much to everyone for all the kindness and support.  sparky and i are doing just fine over here.  my high-energy, partytastic sister came to town this past weekend, and i had to (force myself to) set boundaries about what i could and could not do.  instead of hitting the saturday night town as usual, she went out with her boyfriend and austin friends, while i stayed home in bed with h.  we all had brunch at home the next morning.

i worked a full day on monday, and though i bookended tuesday with out-of-town friend meet-ups, i spent most of the day in bed.  and today? i slept in.  h made pancakes.  she went off to take important teacher tests, and i slept.  all.day.  i am still in jammies.  sparky is extra busy today, with long, deliberate rolls and bellybutton jabs.  my constant rest seems to be giving her boundless energy.  ah, my wiggly fetus.  i’m so glad you’re okay.

meanwhile, i looked at the calendar today and realized: third trimester begins on saturday. and we’re in the double digit countdown now.  i shake my head in disbelief.  in 9 weeks, sparky will be considered full term.  how the?

and now i think i’ll eat some steak.

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things and stuff.

so the second i began to write this post, i totally forgot what i wanted to write about.

huh.

well.

the sparkstress is moving higher and higher into her apartment. she is damn near my ribcage now. the kicks are a little less comfortable up there, and my belly is bumping my desk at work. and my abs? soooooooore.

let’s see, what else? oh yeah! h has taken to reading chapters from the pooh books to sparky every night before bed. and as h relays pooh et al’s many adventures, sparky kicks and rolls and thumps. she positively eats up h’s voice so close to my belly.

also, i think we have found our adoption lawyer and we’ll hopefully begin the whole big texan process in the coming few weeks. perhaps on st patty’s day. i will feel so much more at peace once h is sparky’s legal mum.

so that is what’s going on over here. we went to the swedish meatball store that also sells furniture this weekend, and came home with this sofa. win! now to keep the effing dogs off it when we are not home. fail.

finally, here is this week’s belly shot, taken today at 25w3d:

and bonus! my oddly-shaped, formerly innie belly button:

enjoy.

how’s your wednesday?

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