today was midwife appt day, and a biggie at that. today was ziggy: first contact day, ie first time hearing z’s heartbeat.
at 10.5 weeks, my uterus is measuring 11 cm. stellar blood pressure. pulse was normal. i’ve lost 5 lbs in the past month.
anyway, as i was saying, today was all about the heartbeat. uncle g even came along, and ended up being jude-wrangler. so. i gingerly lay on my back with the least pressure on my tailbone as possible. midwife michele listened with the doppler. nothing. more goop. nothing. a different doppler. still nothing. a third doppler. nothing. nothing but my own heartbeat and static that michele calls “the ocean”. everything’s fine, she said. maybe you’re not as far along as you think, she said. maybe you ovulated later. she was doing her best calm voice, the same one i remember her using right before she tore my perineum to get jude out.
she ran through other scenarios as she continued to press the doppler all over my belly and pubic area. my uterus hasn’t likely fallen forward yet. maybe the fall made it tip back a bit more. she could hear the placenta. perhaps ziggy was hiding behind. maybe we should order an hcg test. or maybe we could have an earlier ultrasound. are you worried? i asked, trying not to sound worried myself in front of jude, who was asking for “more” every time the doppler stopped making noise. i’m not worried, she said. then she told me to get on my hands and knees for a bit, to push my uterus, and ziggy, forward.
michele put the doppler underneath me and tried again, as i remained in that position, propped up on pillows, to no avail. she then asked me to roll over on my back quickly, so she could give it one last shot, with ziggy most likely out front. and then there it was. not the charging locomotive of jude’s heartbeat, but a quiet, shy, rapid swishswishswish of a beat. 156 bpm. ziggy. alive. we all cried. jude asked for more. more baby. more baby.
also of note: new midwife meg asked if i’d felt any movement yet. i’m not even 11 weeks, so i was hesitant to say i had. but i have felt bubbles, much like i remember with jude, light and airy and rhythmic. she smiled and said i really am likely feeling ziggy. and when she pushed down hard on the top of my uterus to get a measurement, she felt the jump of a wee fetus herself. so not only is ziggy alive, with a strong heartbeat, z is also quite the mover.
in other news, i found the bruise from my fall. it took awhile to discover, as it is located in a place i don’t usually think to observe. and here comes tmi: when h saw it, she said, “you have a black asshole!” and tomorrow, it will likely be green. my tailbone? i’m pretty confident it’s broken indeed.
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