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Archive for June, 2009

it’s happening.

the daughter of two very not girly girls now demands to always wear her pink shoes, and as of today, a headband.
Photo 419

Photo 415

…at least she’s still happy to be topless.

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1 year stats.

18 june 2008, jude is:
8 lbs 6 oz
22 inches long
35.5 cm head circumference

25 june 2009, jude is

28 lbs 6 oz
33 inches long
48 cm head circumference

jude > 97%+ of all other babies.

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one year.

hello big girl jude,

you, my love, are a year old, and i am at a loss for words. the innocence mission–a lovely band much included on your labor mix–sings, where does the time go as a lilting lament, and that’s how i feel. because i love being the mommy to a growing, giggly, silly, big biped, and yet my body is already learning to grieve your independence. you need me, but i am no longer your sustenance. in a little less than a year, our relationship transformed from my sustaining your very being, to you walking over to me and begging for a piece of cheese.

if that much can change in one tiny year, what are the rest of our lives going to look like?

you have taught me this year that nothing is static. our life is alive and full of constant movement and change. you are a new you every single day, and as a big boring grownup, i’d forgotten how much wonder there is in that reality. before you came, days and years bled together into a hazy sameness. now? every moment is clearly punctuated with your waking up to the world. i’m waking up again, too.

with you in the world, jude, i am learning to see it from a two-feet-tall perspective, and it sure is big and full of things. i understand your glee at finding yet another burr recently shed from your clemdog’s tail. because, wow. what is a burr? and why is it prickly? and does it taste like cheese? (no.)

my beloved daughter, i am proud to know you. you are a kind soul, one who wraps her arms tightly around my neck, and hugs me with wordless i love yous. you kiss every favorite toy, right down to the tennis ball. you meow better than any cat i’ve ever met. you are the best decision i’ve ever made.

your auntie sarah wrote a song with the following lyrics about the birth of her little girl, and they ring so true of you:

  • And life’s come out
    from the inside,
    and we’re all caught up
    in a brand new smile.
    Now love’s come out
    from the inside
    carefully, willingly;
    you are alive,
    so much more alive.
    And love is breathing
    like a child come out,
    life’s suspended in the gravity of care.
    Never ending does the child come out.
    And hope’s come out from the inside…
    Growing down into the Kingdom, child,
    cover our most desperate cries with ease, please!
    Love is breathing like a tree on fire,
    violently consuming tender lives.
    Love is breathing.

  • i love you with bigger love than i knew i had, judith marguerite. happy birthday.

    love,
    mommy.

    pee ess: you’ve come a long way, baby girl—

    memories.

    after.

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    so. this morning, jude was wandering around our bedroom, as i was still lazing in the big bed. wondering if she was in the mood to be task-oriented, i asked, “where is pollita?” [note: pollita is a fuzzy weeble chicken given to j by my psychiatrist. she adores it.] pollita happened to be out of view, on the other side of the bed.

    jude stood still a moment, and put her finger to her temple and tapped a few times. i taught her this. it is an imitation of pooh saying, “think, think, think…” and then she left her thoughtful spot, waddled around the room to the place where she’d left pollita the previous day, and picked up the weeble with a huge sense of accomplishment. she held pollita out to me and said proudly, “pota”.

    baby = over.
    hello child. kid. toddler with burgeoning language skillz.
    Photo 413

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    blog-keeping

    are you a regular around these parts, who should be on my blogroll, but isn’t?

    let me know. i’ll change that.

    x

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    thirsty.

    i just spent my lunch hour at the work gym. and now i’m a little thirsty and bit lightheaded.

    i’m publicly committing myself to the reclamation of my body. thanks for bearing witness.

    you may remember that i ended up about 25 lbs lighter than my pre-pregnant weight after i gave birth to jude. i maintained that weight until a couple months ago, when a few big changes happened:

    1. i stopped breastfeeding, except for night and morning sleepy feeds. i stopped pumping too.
    2. i started working a shift that had me eating dinner at 11ish every night.
    3. i rediscovered my passion for good beer.

    so i’ve gained about 10 lbs, according to the very truthful scale at the gym. i even weighed myself all nekkedlike.

    i don’t have the time or energy to dream up some big fitness plan, unless i’d like to doom myself to failure. as a working mom, i’m learning to jump on whatever free time slips into my day.

    i used to pump for 30 minutes of every lunch hour. now i’m going to use that time to at least work up a sweat on the elliptical.

    as my toddler daughter is teaching me, baby steps.

    hott ladies, how do you maintain a fitness plan? i wanna know.

    Photo 34

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    blueberry pancake and banana before:
    breakfast before.
    dood.  delish.
    ecstasy.
    blueberry pancake and banana after:
    breakfast after.
    exhausted
    holy hell i'm tired.

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