apologies for lack of posting this week. long work days. and the sick that won’t leave. most likely viral. meh.
the good news is that sparky doesn’t seem to mind any of this. at my 24 week midwife appt yesterday, she measured in at 27 weeks (maintaining her 3 week lead over other 24 week old fetuses). she was also very active during the appointment. she kicked the shit out of the doppler but gave a strong heartbeat. we also got to hear the pulse of the placenta. way cool.
michele found sparky’s head up high and her “bony boy ass” (her words) sitting on my pelvic floor. she showed h how to feel our daughter’s hard little head, and even moved sparky from the right side of my belly to the left. sparky felt confused.
my little girl is now pushing 2 lbs. meanwhile, i continue to not gain weight. i am still 2 lbs under where i was when i got pregnant. i’ve gained nothing in the last 4 weeks. shrug. i’m eating. i’m taking my vitamins and minerals. sparky is taking all the extra padding i had before, i guess.
i’ve had a lot of baby dreams recently. some of them include a miraculously pain-free labor, and me pushing out this chubby-cheeked little girl with squinty blue eyes. she always pops out looking just like the coach. and i’ve had a couple dreams where we get to look inside a belly window to see how sparky is growing. we get to pull her out of the oven for a moment, snuggle her tight, and then put her back.
and then there’s the dream where i forget i have a baby for, like, 5 weeks, and then have an oh shit! moment, and run frantically into her bedroom, where she is sleeping soundly.
last night i dreamt that i had to go get my wee spark from someone else’s house. no birth. just a pick-up. she looked just like me (except with the coach’s squinty blue eyes again). i immediately put her to my breast, and she was a fantastic little eater. h sat next to me, and we couldn’t believe our daughter was finally here, snuggled against me. i loved her fiercely. and felt, for the first time, like a mother.
i woke up this morning with the image of this baby fresh in my mind. i feel like this was really my daughter i met last night. my breasts feel swollen and achy in anticipation. and just under my rib cage, sparky is hiccuping.