so i think i may actually be surfacing from the hell of trimester one. sparky is growing up so quickly–14 weeks 3 days–and finally, i’ve been given a little relief from the nausea. it still comes and goes, but i’m regaining something like energy, which pretty much means that i don’t spend every waking moment wishing for bed. i’m remembering what it is like to be human again, and oh i like it.
my formerly retroverted uterus has abandoned my pelvis, and is now standing upright, on top of my bladder. awesome. my belly feels hard and thick, like i swallowed a hot water bottle. i poke it repeatedly and think, there’s a baby just underneath my finger. and then i get dizzy. still does.not.compute sometimes.
last night was a scare, as there was some definite, though not too dramatic spotting. i calmly left a message for my midwife, and waited. (at work.) when she called back, we went through the checklist of Things that Cause Bleeding in Second Trimester ™. after ruling out the possibility of sex, which i sadly have not had this week, we figured that the spotting was probably due to my ongoing battle with constipation. let’s just say i have to work a little harder for the money these days.
i haven’t had any more blood since last night, and i really am not too concerned about it, but for a brief moment, i was thrown back to the terror of that bloody mess i experienced at 5 weeks. and my body thrummed with the intimate understanding of how precarious life is. always. i thanked sparky for wanting to stay here with us.
i’ve been having trouble falling asleep every night recently, and as i was poking my belly in bed last night, i felt little bubbles tapping morse code from the inside.
everyone has been asking about whether or not we’ll find out if sparky is (in the immortal words of anne lamott) an internal or external american, and the answer is yes. in january. we’ll talk ultrasounds at my next midwife appointment on 3 january. i am so excited to be done with pronoun overcompensation.
i must go do some actual work now, but i leave you with a racy, scandalous, hairy photograph of my 14 week pregnant belly. i’ve seriously not been this thin in a long time. but that bump is solid sparky. and i’m so veiny! i had no idea. [disclaimer: i am not responsible for temporary blindness induced by viewing the bright whiteness of my person.]
we are fambly. 