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Archive for the ‘c-c-c-clomid’ Category

cd18

for those of you sitting at the edge of your seat, waiting for an update on the state of my ovaries, this is your lucky day!

i started the clomid challenge once more for a cycle such as this. i have one seemingly bum ovary. pre-jude, i’d have a long ass cycle (40ish days), usually anovulatory. and then i’d have a more normal cycle, with confirmed ovulation.

post-jude, i have about a 16-18 day anovulatory cycle, followed by a clockwork cycle.

this is my first of the former cycles on clomid. cd18, and there is no sign of blood. nor, however, is there any sign of ovulation. oh sure, i’ve had fertile cm, twinges galore, but no sustained thermal shift, and nothing even close to a +opk. what i have had is 18 days of pms. crankiness. sugar cravings. malaise. fuck you, clomid. you’re an asshole. (now make me ovulate.)

and that is all i will say about my clomid frustrations.

to reward you for reading such drivel, here is a really cute picture of jude that i posted on fb yesterday.
i captioned it thusly: life with her mothers must be rubbing off: old tshirt, doorag, and no pants.

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clomidia.

day 3 of clomid, and my body is angry with me. not only am i experiencing a hefty dose of ppms (that’s pre-pms, for those of you playing at home), today i am as nauseous as the memory of myself 8 weeks pregnant.

someone please pass the saltines.

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of note

today begins clomid challenge 2009! whee!

i have a new ob/gyn who was recommended by my midwife as being “midwife-friendly”. i don’t know that she is especially friendly towards them, as much as less hostile. she reiterated the party line about taking my unborn child’s life into my own hands by choosing to work with a midwife, etc. i nodded and said i understood.

the thing about this new doctor is that she seems to be a rather crunchy, braid-to-her-butt type. she held eye contact with me for a long time. her eyes are deeply green. after quizzing my knowledge of my own reproduction system and its issues, she agreed with me that if i want to have a child sooner than later, clomid is a good idea. after an ultrasound, which i had. aside from some follicular cysts, all looks well in there. i’m having a big ass blood panel done whenever i finish procrastinating, which will include a test for toxoplasmosis. anyone listen to radiolab? after the episode about the genius of parasites, i have a whole new respect and mortal fear of toxo.

back to the un-nicknamed doctor, at the end of our visit, she advised that, should i have an emergency transport when it comes time for me to give birth again, she would not be willing to be the doctor on call. fair enough. however, and at this point she gave me the green-eyed stare again, she did say that if my pregnancy ended up high risk for whatever reason, she would be happy to be my doctor. well okay then.

all this to say, i’m ambivalent about my new ob/gyn, but my gut says to trust her. so she will remain my ob/gyn for the foreseeable future.

let the challenge begin!

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the thing with feathers.

first, a hearty, soulful, grateful, oh so happy congratulations to ms farmer femme on her poetic bfp! friend, i am teary mess of joy over here.

second, i have an appt with a new, midwife-friendly ob/gyn, and will hopefully have a clomidified next cycle. last time i experimented with the drug, we got ourselves a baby on our 2nd attempt. here’s to history repeating.

and third, that there baby seems to be waking up from a nap. time to tell her about her new agrarian ivp cousin!

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dr c. versus ff

this morning, i took my temperature like a good little girl. as i expected, it was up for the 3rd day in a row, therefore graduating me officially into my luteal phase. i was surprised and a little crestfallen to see that fertility friend estimated my ovulation day as saturday…the only day i got a +opk, and the day before we insemmed.

my chart and i had a clomid check appointment with dr c this morning. i explained my concern about our timing. she took one look at my chart and said, “no way you ovulated saturday. it happened on sunday. your timing couldn’t have been more perfect.” my ovaries look good and healthy, and she’s mostly happy with my cd18 ovulation. “if we need to prescribe clomid next month, we’ll keep the dose the same,” she said. “however, i fully expect a call letting me know that you got a positive test in 2 weeks.”

trying not to get my hopes up, but when your doctor is so positive, it’s hard not to. i will be a hopeful girl, and try not to wander over into obsessive land.

question: for those of you who use ff, does it always estimate your ovulation that doesn’t gibe with what your body is telling you?

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cd22 update.

first: to the person who found me via the keywords “lesbian milk drinking”, welcome! i’m a bit lactose intolerant, but i am a lesbian…

second: thank you to all of you who wrote such informative and kind comments. i took your information with me to the doctor today.

dr. c agrees that my cycle is most likely wacked out due to the travel/stress/grief of this month. trista’s helpful comment about opk results changed the look of my chart a bit. i may have ovulated yesterday/today, and be on the upward thermal swing today. opk is most definitely negative today.

we insemmed 2 nights ago, so if i did ovulate (or am ovulating now), we had pretty good timing. nevertheless, we’re giving it one more go tonight, which dr c thinks is a good idea.

at this point, she doesn’t recommend i up my dose of clomid. (i’m at 50 mg.) she thinks this month is simply a fluke. she also doesn’t recommend trigger shots now, either. since we have such a generous donor (tonight is attempt #6), she doesn’t see the need. and she’s not ready to hand me off to an RE just yet.

to break down everything that that happened today, the password is “wait”.

my ovaries look good and cyst-free, and cervix is still high-ish, so she’s happy.

onward toward the 2 week wait for us after tonight. here’s to intrepid swimmers and a rising body temperature. cheers.

oh! pee ess: i’ve lost 7 lbs since i began going to dr c.!

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no change with the opk’s. still the mindfuck shade of is-it-lighter pink.

temp is back down again this morning. cd21.

symptoms are all still accounted for:

entertaining ewcm. (i actually summon h to the bathroom to show her with pride.)
o cramps in my lower back and down my left leg.
a practically unreachable cervix. “ooo lips,” said h. and definitely open.

we did insem last night. poor coach. FIVE times this month.

remember last month’s beauty pageant-winning chart?
here’s this month’s monstrosity:
picture-2.png (sorry for the need to clicky. i really need to work out the formatting issues.)

on a sillier note, i found out that i’m not pregnant. my opks came with a free pregnancy test that looked a lot like the ovulation tests, except clear. i thought it was just defective or something. and then i looked at the box after i took the test and got a decidedly negative result. smack head.

ok. question. my doctor has not mentioned the option of trigger shots at this point. should i ask for this? i really know very little about them, how they’re used in conjunction w/ clomid, etc. would you wise women school me? my appt is tomorrow afternoon, so a little advice before then would be ever so helpful.

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inching closer…

this afternoon’s opk, as photographed by my imac’s photobooth–at work.

mypicture.jpg

it’s mostly equal in the darkness, except for a tiny lighter stripe. total whiskey tango foxtrot, especially when i really, really don’t have the cash to purchase a more expensive [read: clearer] opk.

i guess i’ll just watch my temps. i have a clomid check appt on weds. hopefully i’ll be happily luteal.

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and.

cd18. still negative.  we gave the coach a day off yesterday.

i am trying very hard not to fall apart over this.
but i ache.

clomid promised ovulation within 10 days.  last month–the dry run month–was perfect. i naively thought this month would be the same.  i’ve got all the ovulation symptoms, except for the temperature shift and positive test.

i’m worried about this being an anovulatory month, even with the clomid.  and, forgive the pun, i put a lot of eggs in this month’s basket.  when i was in pennsylvania last week, my focal point for getting through the grief and stress was getting home, getting to try–actually having a real shot at it this month.

it’s still too early to call.  i’m not giving up hope.  without clomid, i usually ovulate around cd21, so i know i’m not out of the game.

h is being very supportive. right now she’s out getting the makings for homemade waffles.

have any of you had issues with clomid not fulfilling its promises?

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here is my A+ chart, in her entirety:

picture-1.png  (clicky to see, since it didn’t fit within its confines.)

it’s beautiful! i’m proud! but fuuuuuuuck!! my cramps are badbadbad. for you clomidheads out there, did clomid affect your period?

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