so, it’s sunday afternoon. i’m lying in bed with the windows open, as a cold front blows through my house from backyard to front. someone is grilling. my freshly washed bed linens smell like brisket. i’m not complaining. i turn my head to the right and look out the window: i see my oily-dreaded h pushing my oily-haired kids on swings. jude is wearing long pants and no shirt. zig looks like an extra from mad men.
from the paragraph above, can you pick out the reasons for my lack of blogging?
if not, i’ll translate:
1. bedrest. so, remember how i didn’t tear when i gave birth to zig? as it turns out, i did tear, only not perineally–i tore labially. i will spare you all other details other than the way h described it: a torn petal. after months of discomfort, i had it fixed (ie removed) on thursday. i’ve mostly spent the weekend staying off my stitches. i may or may not have just started my period.
2. we are still battling omfgLICE here. needless to say, it’s spread. we’ve all had to cope, and are now employing the 5 step battle plan, which involves copious amounts of olive oil. i can’t think about it all too much, or i get itchy and nauseated.
3. while playing in the sprinkler yesterday, jude stepped in a bed of some kind of black ants. they swarmed her feet and legs, bit and bit and wouldn’t let go. she screamed and flailed and screamed some more. we finally washed them all off in the sprinkler, at which point we threw her in a baking soda bath, gave her benadryl, and slathered her in cortisone cream. afterward, she enjoyed a bowl of stephen colbert’s americone dream ice cream. today, she is the proud owner of several pus-filled welts all over her feet and legs. we have her in long pants to keep her from scratching.
so there you have it. a plague of insects and suzy surgery have kept me from writing. please know that i’ve done my best to keep this post non-whiny. i sincerely hope that i have succeeded.
pee ess: to the commenters on my last lice post, yes we are using tea tree oil shampoo. all of us.