these cramps are intense, y’all. the prescription pain relief kind. i waited all day to take it too, till i knew the baby would not be on the boob for several hours. even though i know it’s not going to hurt zig, i still feel kind of like a bad mom to nurse him with an opiate in my system, even if it is a small dose, and a rare occurrence altogether. h was kind enough to slather me with tiger balm just now, and so i lie in wait, smelling of a whole lot of wintergreen, hoping the relief kicks in soon. i may or may not be sipping some black bush in the meantime.
on account of the sudden menstruality taking over my just-got-un-pregnant self, i was off today. i felt out of step with both kids. ziggy was having a binge kind of day, which means he eats until he has no more room, and then he pukes. a lot. all over me, all over h, all over the clean sheets. when he wasn’t eating and puking, he was sleeping and growing. i feel like i didn’t really see him much today. he was just an adorable lump on my lap.
meanwhile, jude was in needy, regressive mode all day, beginning with good morning! she was very adamant about wanting to “drink milk from mommy’s boobies, not from a cup,” and though she didn’t throw a fit when we once again had the conversation of “mommy’s milk is for babies, not big kids, and lucky you! you’re a big kid,” she was visibly disappointed and a little deflated when she realized she really wasn’t going to get to nurse today. (she hasn’t nursed at all since april.) she compensated by pretending a sippy cup was a bottle of milk, and asking to be cradled and fed like a baby. and so i held her like i do her brother, and i intermittently burped her. incidentally, jude has the most convincing fake belch.
she knew i was off my game, it seems, and she pushed a lot of boundaries. we ended the evening with two time outs: one for screaming at the dinner table when she couldn’t watch shaun the sheep, and one for headbutting me in the chin while she was on my lap. for the latter time out, she slapped me as i set her in her spot, and then proceeded to spit. these lovely behaviors led to (another) conversation about using words instead of lashing out. and for the first time, she announced loudly that she was BUSTATED! (ahem, frustrated.) we praised her for communicating with such articulation, which caused her much more bustation, as it was our incessant talking that bustated her in the first place. so she growled and hid her face in her hands. baby steps. for all of us.
my lower back and general uterine vicinity appear to be exhaling now, and so i am signing off for the evening. night night, friends. can you believe that i have not missed a blogday (yet)? hooray self.