so, i was going to tell a story about going to tiny, tx this weekend, and how all was going very well until the tornado. so there was a tornado, and Take Cover Now Don’t Wait for Further Updates warnings from the weather service. h and jude and nana and i hid out in the hallway–the innermost part of nana’s house. we were almost safe in there, save for the doorless entryway into the room of very glass knickknacks. so it was us and pillows and blankets and milk and cheese and books for jude. and nana’s macbook, for my incessant need to know exactly what is happening on the radar. i am staff meteorologist.
in this story, i was going to tell you all how jude was hyper and excited and cranky all at once. she tried to jump on the macbook. i advised her to not do that. she smacked me hard in the face. i gingerly set the macbook down, took her face in my hands and reminded her of the fact that, in our family, we do.not.hit.ever. in the 7 seconds it took to have this conversation, h accidentally stepped on the macbook i was trying to protect. the screen now had a lovely sunburst and diagonal crack. we didn’t want to tell nana about it while hiding from a tornado. i turned the screen away as i watched the radar. nana thought the big black line in the middle was the tornado upon us. she began to panic.
i am very very very afraid of tornadoes. they are my worst phobia. ever. nana is also very very afraid of tornadoes. the difference between us is that she does not have an inner monologue. the wind raged. that’s not good, she said. the hail battered. that’s never a good thing, she said. silence. silence is the worst, she said.
in my head, i was reeling, rocking back and forth. on the outside, i was just quiet and trying not to freak out my child.
did i mention that i’d also seen the fucking funnel cloud out the bathroom window? and it looked just like my recurring nightmares? true.
the storm passed. the tornado stayed in the sky. we confessed to nana that the tornado wasn’t causing the blackness on the screen. we promised to pay for a replacement. we lived.
so yeah, i was about to tell this story and then a big scary severe thunderstorm with hail came barreling down the radar just now, so i’m gonna tell it another time.
moral of untold story: i survived a non-touching down tornado with my mother in law, and my phobia is still intact!