please forgive the radio silence around these parts. busy, sleep deprived, fighting the ick, and today? well, let’s just say that today falls under the category of Humiliating Professional Experience, and may or may not include an instance of walking out on an important interview.
so, there’s that.
i’m curled up in my bed for now. proper sick day. the furnace is working hard, as winter has actually descended upon austin, and i’m under many layers of blankets. h is vacuuming downstairs, while wearing jude in a backpack and listening to the flaming lips’ yoshimi.
i can’t stop with the weeping. the verdict is still out on whether or not i’m pregnant with a little virgo bean, but i’m guessing it’s a no this month. 12dpo test is negative. i am pms incarnate. the temp dip should happen by the weekend. i compartmentalize my hopes and fears about pregnancy 2.0, and mostly feel fine with whatever happens, but today, the preemptive grief is very much present in my weepy, humiliated little heart. and i’m not sure which way is up.
i’m going to close my eyes for awhile.
[end sad post.]