six whole days ago, you turned six months old. that’s half a year, girl. half.a.year. i am having a hard time processing this reality, because wasn’t it just yesterday that you arrived? or wait. haven’t you always been here? was there ever a time in my life that i did not know you? unfathomable.
once again i am belated in my letter to you, and you can blame that on my job. it’s been overtime city for me, and so my days begin and end with you and i snuggled together in bed. guess why that is, my beloved daughter? yep, you’re right: you refuse to sleep in your crib. you will nap alone in your moms’ bed, as long as i nurse you to sleep. but you refuse to either fall asleep or stay asleep in your crib. once upon a time (i.e. until last week) a tight swaddle seemed to make crib sleep happen for you. but now? you’re over it. with a vengeance. with a loud, red faced, deafening wail of a vengeance.
otherwise, jude, you are a delight. on december 12, you were adopted by your mama h. we began this process back in march, when you were a 7 month old fetus in my belly, and you kicked and rolled as we signed wills and background checks, etc. on the day of your adoption, you were pleased with the dress and leggings mama h chose for you, and you were downright delighted by the array of toys sitting in front of the judge. i think you missed the moment in which you were officially adopted. we missed it too, because you were all but climbing out of mama h’s arms to choose your toy memento of the occasion: a beanie koala, which the judge mistakenly referred to as an elephant (on account of its greyness, presumably).
so. you are adopted and loved and protected under the law. glory be. in the future, i know we will look back upon this time with disbelief over the hurdles we had to clear in order to be a family. surely, we will be protected with equal rights. families like ours will officially be No Big Deal.
i am rushed to finish this letter to you, my love, and i apologize for that. suffice it to say you are growing like a crazy woman. if you weigh 25 lbs, it would be no shock. you are solid. and independent. you can stand and hold yourself up against the edge of the bathtub, the couch, etc. you rock back and forth on hands and knees, trying to crawl, but only moving backwards. this angers you to no end. for you are goal-oriented, and backwards motion is the ultimate fail for you. you seem to want to bypass crawling altogether, and spend more energy on hands and feet than hands and knees. your mothers are nervous. so are your pets.
it’s christmas eve, jude. your world is about to be rocked with pretty packages full of presents and blinking lights and tipsy parents with flushed faces. we cannot wait to share the joy of the day with you. i hope that your first christmas seeps into your soul as a happy, peaceful foundation for the traditions we are beginning together. we’re a messy, silly bunch, but we adore you, and so unbelievably happy that you are here. welcome to christmas, my girl. you are the end of our advent.