last night? massive cramps. much ibuprofen ensued.
this morning? spotting. either i’m going into labor with a child i don’t remember carrying, or my period is about to be back in full force.
if it is the latter–and, for the record, i’m sure it is–it means that after 15 months, i am an ovulating, menstruating woman once more. and i’m back on the schedule i was on before. wow.
no, i’m not planning to enter the world of ttc once more, but it is not off the table in the future, though it may not be my uterus doing the work. more information as that story develops. right now it’s capital h Hypothetical.
meanwhile, back in the world of existing children, we have hit a wall with jude’s night time routine. basically, we find ourselves in the same plight as oneofhismoms: we don’t want me to nurse jude to sleep every night, and yet it is the only way she will sleep. add to this the further complication of how she refuses to sleep in her bed. we’ve resorted to plopping her down in her crib once she falls asleep. if we’re lucky, she’ll sleep for an hour or so. most nights, however, she wakes up immediately with a wail, and it escalates into hysterics that do.not.stop. excessive crying irritates her already irritated tiny little tear ducts, and the next morning she is puffy and goopy-eyed. nothing soothes her when she wakes up…nothing but the boob.
i know she is teething with a vengeance, her ears are always filled with fluid (though she has no infection currently), and so she generally doesn’t feel well. also, she is on the cusp of crawling, so i am sure she is feeling extra needy as she deals with her ever-growing independence. still, a good night’s sleep does not these issues make.
i’ve mentioned that our current solution is for h to take jude into the other room when she wakes, and they spend the night spooning on a futon, while i get uninterrupted sleep, so that i can function at work. we’ve tried simply cosleeping, but jude figures that my presence means all you can eat milk bar all night long. i don’t sleep, because she roots around all night, and god forbid i turn over with my back to her. she suckles my shoulder blade. and then she wails.
yeah. so. i’m not quite sure how we’re going to get out of this rut. i know that the words “sleep training” are often on our lips, but our followthrough thus far has been shite. and i know that the longer we put it off, the harder it will be. meanwhile, i am also grateful that jude sleeps at all, when i know it could be much worse.
so. ivp, how about you? how did you solve your sleeping baby problems? will i ever get to sleep with my beloved again?