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Archive for July 5th, 2008

the coach, etc.

i’ve had some questions recently about the coach and how he is doing with the birth of little jude. i’m sorry i haven’t posted before now. he is in our everyday lives so much that when i say “we” he is included.

so. the coach was present for jude’s birth. while i was in labor, he was in charge of updating my mom and sister and auntie big jude, which he did like a pro. h didn’t leave my side once during labor. all throughout my pregnancy, i waffled over whether or not i would want him in the room when the baby was actually born. on one hand, he is a dear friend, a brother to both h and me. but. if we were trying to create healthy boundaries for him and for us, would it be too much to have him present? would i want a man in the room, period? and so i continually offered him an i don’t know, and he was gracious about it.

when it came down to me pushing and jude’s arrival being imminent, my midwife asked me if i wanted him to come in, to be the one to take pictures. i was completely naked and squatting on the assless chair, and i gave a hardy attempt at a shrug: let him in! and so there he was. i was aware of his presence in my stoned birthing state, and it was anything but intrusive. he was part of the room’s energy. i don’t know how afraid or awkward or grossed out he felt at being so close to the action, but i think that being behind the camera gave him a sense of safe distance. i’m not sure. i should ask him. but there he was. he watched as jude crowned. he bore witness as h pulled our slippery daughter from my body and into the world. he saw–with horror–me start to hemorrhage, and was present for the emergency pit shot to my thigh, and immediate recovery from a scary moment. he was among the first to hold jude.

the coach may have voluntarily relinquished the title and responsibilities of dad, but he and jude have an undeniably precious connection. he is the man in her life. she quiets down when she hears his voice. she snuggles into his arms. she stares at his face as he holds her and reads her articles from the austin chronicle or chapters from joseph campbell. simply put, she loves him.

the coach’s parents were the first set of grandparents who came to meet jude, when she was 4 days old. gabby and pop pop, as they have decided to be called, are smitten by their little girl, and though they are quick to point out the many features jude has inherited from the coach, they are equally respectful of both h and me being her parents. they even want to come to her adoption hearing this december.

and so that is how things are with the coach. he is in love with this little girl who is obviously related to him, and i think he is a little in love with us for bringing her into the world so he could meet her.

in other news, h and jude and i ventured out of the house as a fambly today for the first time. jude LOVED it. she slept soundly in the car, slept through brunch at a favorite coffeeshop called bouldin creek, woke up briefly at wheatsville, the local co-op (and only because she needed to be changed), and nursed happily at rio rita. altogether we were out for four hours, and it was delightful.

here she is wearing her elvis snarl, inherited from moi:
elvis snarl.

discovering her sal cat:
discovering her kitty.

and finally, rocking her gang signs in her treasu(red) outfit from her auntie sheela:
thanks auntie sheela!

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