Archive for October 5th, 2007

just. wow.

thank you everybody for amazing encouragement. wow.

after i peed on that beautiful stick this morning, i immediately woke up h. “honey, can i turn on the light?” i asked. she thought i was going to complain about dog puke on the floor. and then i showed her the stick. she pulled me back into bed and just held me and squealed and poked at my belly.

we showed up at the coach’s house–stick in hand–just after 7. naturally, we woke him up, but when he opened the door to 2 pink lines thrust in his face, he gave his trademark sideways grin and said, “does that mean what i think it means?” we nodded and he went berzerk with the joy.

the three of us had a great breakfast of celebration together. i ordered my favorite: eggs benedict. only, i couldn’t eat it. the texture and flavor were revolting. i ate one fried egg instead. the restaurant manager comped my meal. h just looked at me and said, “here we go”.

here we go.

i’ve already called my doctor (i was heartily congratulated by the nurse) and since we were in the neighborhood, i had my blood test taken. my first appointment is next friday. i’ll be 5 weeks.

today is therapy day. i talked a mile a minute in my session, repeating the disbelief and the hope and the fear and the joy. she repeated how hard i have worked to come to this point in my life (especially in managing my bipolar).

i’m all over the place here, and i need a nap. we’ve done so much in the 5 hours we’ve known i’m pregnant.

i’m pregnant? i’m pregnant. really? really. i took the glorious, digital test (please excuse the dog hair) to be sure. i’ve been saving it since april.

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it’s 6:30 am. i’ve thought and thought and thought about whether or not i’d pee on a stick. finally i said “fuck it”: either i’d get a positive result or id blame the negative on testing too early.

so i temped this morning. and then i got up and peed. in a cup. dipped. counted to five. stared at my toes.

30 seconds later, i got a positive.

and there you have it.
no more words. just a body humming with excitement and nervousness and excitement.
time to go wake up the coach.

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