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Archive for August 6th, 2007

wait.

sorry i’ve been so silent over here. there hasn’t been much to say about the land of ttc. just blood and waiting. i’ve never known life in such increments before, time is ticking along on a chart. cd 6.

and as i’m sitting and charting and waiting, my aunt–the matriarch of my family–is dying. granted, she is 90. she has lived an amazing and long life. but. she is also my father’s sister. she is the last of my paternal side of the family. she is the storyteller. she deemed me the chronicler. when she is gone, it will be my job to remember, to keep the story of my family alive for the next generation–for the generation i am trying to create.

i am afraid to lose her, afraid of forgetting.

today, her medicines were stopped, her breathing tube removed. my mother tells me that my aunt ate applesauce. she is being made comfortable, as her heart and kidneys shut down. she is in pennsylvania. i am in texas. h and i are most likely going to drive 22 hours to be by her bedside. to say goodbye.

i wait.

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