when h and i first began thinking about kids, i knew there would be risks of exposing vulnerable children to the gay agenda, the code by which we live our deviant lives. they could turn out gay. or feminist. or pro gay marriage. or or or. gay.
what we didn’t bargain for was the effect our lifestyle could have on our pets. i wasn’t aware of cross-species abomination influence. how could i have been so ignorant? so naive?
behold, exhibit a:
what you are witnessing is the illicit love affair between one 9 month old doxiepoo and one 6 year old ornery calico. i have caught them, on more than one occasion, spooning in our bed. she licks (licks!) him on the face. he nibbles behind her ears, checking for fleas. she bites him in the eye. he bites her in the face. and then they spoon some more.
canines and felines have no right to be such intimates. i’m sorry, it’s just wrong. and disgusting.
despite the absolute cuteness factor, clem and claira are putting their souls in danger.
tonight, i am going to sit them down for a conversation. “it has to end,” i will tell them. i will separate their spooning with my legs if i have to.
wait a minute. i just thought of something. clem = boy. claira = girl.
*logic logic logic*
I’VE GOT IT!
the interspecies abomination may just be nullified by the fact that i have raised two animals who are attracted to the opposite sex. *whew*
okay kids. sorry. as you were.