the coach has been debating over when to tell his parents about his role in our famblymaking.
he decided that last night would be the night. what better way to tell your parents what you’re doing with your sperm than over sag paneer? afterward, he came over to our house, and sat on the porch grinning over a glass of wine. he had expected them to “arrive at happiness” after a few moments of shock and/or disapproval. after all, this is their only child…
alas, it was pure joy from moment one. his dad repeated over and over, “i’m just so happy!” his mom wants us to hurry up and get pregnant already.
he told his parents about the legal requirements of what we’re doing: that we would love for them to be involved in sparky’s life, but they have no legal rights or responsibilities whatsoever. they understood this perfectly, and seemed to have expected it.
have i mentioned recently how much we LOVE the coach’s parents? how the best christmas h and i ever had was the one we spent with them at our home?
so. h’s mom knows. the coach’s parents know.
that leaves my mother.
my mother is older than a lot of my peers’ mothers. she is also a pentecostal, very conservative christian, with a lot of love for the catholic church. i’ve wondered a lot over the past four years if she would even come to our wedding, once we can legally have one. and so, like we do in my fambly, i’ve just never mentioned it.
my mother has never come to visit us. granted, we are in texas and she is in pennsylvania. she does not drive, and rarely flies. i haven’t seen her in almost two years. she is the same age now that my father was when he died ten years ago. i carry this panicky fear that i won’t see her again. and so, i invited her to visit us soon. i offered to pay for her flight, offered to put her up in a nearby hotel if she is uncomfortable staying in our home.
she wants to come. she waved my hotel idea away as ridiculous. of course she’ll stay with us!!! (exclamation points hers.) she never ceases to surprise me.
my mother, the church worship leader, bible study teacher, defender of the faith told me when i came out to her: i am a christian, and though i may not agree with or understand your lifestyle, i am a mother first. you are my baby daughter. and i love you.
and then she added this statement, which can only come as a compliment from her, “tchaikovsky was gay, and it didn’t make his music any less beautiful.”
i think i might give my mother a phonecall tonight, and have some expecting to be expecting news.