today, i feel like sisyphus. i do not usually write about work, mostly on account of the brave dooce who has gone before us. that, and my worklife is simply not that interesting.
but today (and yesterday, too, actually) i feel like sisyphus. since my return to work from maternity leave [read: when i realized i was now the breadwinner], i have taken that proverbial rock, and rolled it up that corporate hill with gusto. hell, i’ve even spent a whole lot of energy trying to implement ways to more efficiently roll the rock. ugh, this analogy is painfully tiresome. you know what is coming: every day i start over again. all the hopes of promotions, raises, etc are dashed, and the futility of my predicament is overwhelming.
i cried a lot yesterday. i have been quick to anger a lot today. all i want is cookies and beer, though not simultaneously. i was thinking something a little more progressive. mostly, i want it to be my turn to reach some sort of new career summit. i don’t feel entitled, just deserving.
if i write anything less vague, i’ll feel nervous. so i will leave it there.
this morning, i was a ball of nerves. there are so many bills to pay, and the layer to cover them all is ever-thinning. as i was readying to leave for work, h took me in her arms, looked me in the eye and reminded me of this truth: “you’re blessed”. i placed my hand on her heart, and repeated it. we are blessed. and we are going to survive this lean season.
pee ess, i ate a cookie.
money stress is shitty and overwhelming. I hope your hard work is rewarded soon and things get easier.
you are a beautiful fambly and i love watching you all grow.
So does that mean that its now time for a stout to go with the cookie?
Knowing that you are/will be the primary breadwinner always seems to intensive the stress at work. The only think that I’ve noticed helps is humorous coworkers and the moments like you had this morning.
promotion, yes. me too please! (good luck)
Hang in there things will get better one day. U are a beautiful family. we have your back on the are our ears on the stress tip
Thinking of you guys and hoping the financial stress will abate soon. Sounds to me like you’re doing a great job in a difficult work situation, whatever the specifics of it may be…
Sounds like a well deserved cookie
work/money/career ladder/family – yep, i hear you. stressful stuff. i hope your workplace rewards you for your skills and hard work soon.
I hear ya!
I was laid off over a year ago now…. we lost our house….. moved in with my parents… the three of us…. Boo Rowan and I…. but you know what….. the three of us are still together… and no matter how much I have lost, it was nothing but physical nonsense I don’t need…..
I have the two most important things in my life beside me…. and i’m not sure i’d have ever learned that lesson had I not travelled the road I’ve traveled for the last year.
We’re a MotherF’ing tripod! (i hope you’ve seen that movie and you don’t i’m just randomly cursing lol)
ahh, i know this. the stress of financial worries is so hard…… i’m thinking of you guys and hoping you get the credit you deserve at work.
that photo of you guys is beautiful by the way, and i love how H reminded you of the most important thing ever.
xo
Argh. I have been there. I’m sorry you guys are going through blech, but at least you have each other. Thinking of you… and eat that cookie!
You are beautiful and blessed and you will get through this….even though it sucks!
ohhh i love when you post FAMBLY PHOTOS!!! there are not enough of them.
just sending you some love and i would like you to share a cookie with me. someone last night had chocolate-chocolate-chip cookies and left one on the table in the break room. in my old place of work, this means FAIR GAME, but i am new, and well. i just ate a yogurt.
i think i need a cookie tonight at work.
love you friend
xoxo
That really does suck! But your beautiful family picture is a good reminder of why you are doing it and that you have them to help you through.