so. yeah. i’m still breastfeeding. i forget that you all don’t see me nurse my large baby every day. silly me. the last thing i probably wrote about the subject was this dirgeful post.
i don’t pump anymore. my boobs are definitely crosseyed pancakes. but jude sure does love them. she still giggles maniacally excitedly at the sight of them. i thought i was surely drying up, but no. i’m clearly producing enough to keep her happy. most mornings, she’ll snuggle up next to me on the couch and nurse while watching dora. on my days off, she’ll nurse for a few minutes before taking a nap or going to bed for the night. when she is done, she pats them and nuzzles them and says, “allllll done”.
you could say that i still nurse on demand, and you would be right. mostly. jude went through a phase in which she demanded the boob in inappropriate places. like, the grocery store, while i was pushing the cart. she would try to lift my shirt, and i would say “not now” and she’d scream. and then i’d be that parent, which isn’t all that bad, honestly. that parent usually ends up with an aisle all to herself.
mostly, jude is discreet about her requests to nurse anymore, but i am not averse to breastfeeding in public, or in front of friends and family. it is strange to be on the receiving end of that judgmental look i’ve heard about for so long, but i try to ignore it. the question, “how long are you going to breastfeed” isn’t so much inquisitive anymore; it carries the distinct tone of worry that i may well be nursing a kindergartner if don’t wean her now.
i know that jude is not going to nurse forever. i never thought she’d disengage from the boob as much as she has, all by herself. trusting my instincts has never steered me wrong in my small time as a mom. i am confident that what little milk i have left is keeping h1n1 at bay, when friends all around are succumbing. and as jude languishes through the slow emergence of molars, i know that my breastmilk soothes her. i also think that nursing helps jude work through the emotions that usually manifest in tantrums. nursing is her stiff drink at the end of the day.
on the whole, i still enjoy breastfeeding. i love the quiet moments alone with my daughter, when she snuggles in cozily, and is once again my baby. i see that baby less and less, and it is a comfort for me to be present and savor those moments. i am preparing myself for that fast-approaching day when she will decide she is done. but, as of today, i am in no hurry for it to come. i am simply grateful.
YAY! Based on the last post, I had figured you had stopped but didn’t want to ask.
I think Lorelei weaned just a few days ago, mostly because of my discomfort during nursing (yay pregnancy) and a vary tired weekend where her dad kept her away from me as much as possible while I could nap.
I envy you and your continued nursing… sort of. OK maybe I’m just lamenting that my nipples hurt too much to keep going. Excuse me while I go away and wallow on my own
Yes, those instincts… always trust them
I nursed both mine longer than two years. It is a bit weird slinging a large and long-legged toddler across your lap, but is so good for them (and you). I’m not sure either of mine would have “self-weaned” entirely, but I made a don’t-offer-don’t-refuse policy that worked well. I found it became less socially acceptable to nurse in public around 18 months, but by then, they both were able to understand the phrase ‘not yet’ so it worked out. I really did miss nursing once they were done, those bonding moments are really powerful. I’m glad to hear you’re still going.
You’re an amazing mom to still be nursing. I miss it. My supply dried up after about four months and it was heartbreaking. Not that Addison has suffered, but it’s as much for a mother as a child. I agree with everyone as well, always trust your instincts, they’ll never steer you wrong.
Annie, you are an amazing mom. Jude is so blessed.
it was such a sweet lovely thing to have you nursing her in my house. you have all the right instincts to guide you. savor those precious moments.
This post was greatl! Jude is indeed lucky to have you as her Mama. How adorable is J, that she pats them and says “allll done”. Hilarious and too cute for words.
I’m beginning to feel the same way about breastfeeding. Even though Lach is much younger, he is nursing less often now during the days, and I cherish that quiet time together.
I admire you, and all of the other women who nurse in public. I really would feel comfortable doing it – but STILL can’t seem to get the hang of it with my wriggly boy. Tips?
xo
Ash and I greatly disagree on this topic. She says a year and you’re done. I say, HA! I’m done when the (non-existant) baby and I decide I’m done. She freaked out when she heard a woman say she fed her three year old. No one should tell anyone else how to parent. It’s a personal decision and people who don’t like it can shut their mouths. Good for you!
I’ll nurse anywhere…