scene: check out line at HEB.
characters: one chicken, one male teenaged cashier, one female observant bagger
cashier: [maintains blank expression while scanning items]
chicken: [fumbles with touchpad to pay for big grocery bill]
bagger: [bagging two bunches of bananas, one yellow, one green] “so why do you buy green bananas?”
chicken: “we eat the yellow ones first, while the green ones ripen, and then we don’t have to run to the store as often…”
bagger: “oh, so that’s how you do it.”
chicken: *silence”
bagger: “yeah, all these people buy green bananas, and i thought they must be healthier, so i bought some, and they taste nasty. they taste like dookie.”
chicken: “i, um, yeah.”
[end scene]
Yup – that’s what I do, too. And I love the “chicken” dialogue, and I’ve been to Texass enough to know what the HEB is! Did you know about their past-expiration-date food? If you find something on the shelf that’s past the date, you turn it in and get a FREE IN DATE item just like it. That’s a great way for them to check dates on the food, and for the customer to get free stuff!
Hahahaha. HEB is probably *the* scene for awkward encounters. I know I’ve had waay too many, but one sticks firmly in my mind.
Fil work(ed) at an HEB up in Pflugerville and EVERYONE knew I was *her* wife. So every conversation I had with myself had to be guarded… yeah, I talk to myself when I shop alone.
One day I was picking up a few things for Thanksgiving and we were planning on making a turkey for our son so I was wondering if we needed a turkey baster. So I stood in the aisle with all the kitchen utensils and talked to myself before I realised what I was saying “Do we really need a turkey baster for that? we could just use a spoon! or maybe we could get Nk to bring a syringe from work!” The employee who was manning that aisle looked so utterly shocked with my dialogue I muttered “oh nevermind” and rushed off. Good grief.
woe.
so i nurse now while i try hard to catch up on the ivp-o-sphere. After reading this i broke out in a belly chuckle and LJ was so startled that she almost rolled off the boppy. thanks for the laugh.
i thought i was the only one who bought yellow & green bananas ~ seems all the cool kids do it
i would have loved to seen that “a-ha” moment on the bagger’s face…
I kept waiting for some weird dialog about the chicken you were buying… and then the duh moment hit *blush*
heh. heh he heh. you said dookie.
I haven’t made it over for quite some time. It was nice to catch up. and I loved this post.
I myself think that life is to short even to buy green bananas. the trip to the store for more just reminds me of how precious life is.
I know I’m dorky. Enjoy your green bananas.
Ha! Here’s one from Kroger when I was buying fresh carrots:
Cashier to bagger: “What are these?”
Bagger: “Those are carrots.”
Cashier: “These aren’t carrots. They’ve got all this green stuff on top.”
Me: “They grow that way.”
Cashier: “Well I’ve never seen nothin’ like that.”
wonderful.
I’m cracking up at Cindy’s comment!!!!! We’ve all had those moments. We do the same thing with the bananas though and like Gypsy, thought we were the only ones. Hilarious. Thanks for sharing
W-O-W.
And thanks, Lisa, for that hilarious clip from Kroger!
I guess that bagger doesn’t qualify as a “foodie.”