delection.

last night, i arrived home from work nonplussed from all the traffic i daily fight. as i sat bumper to bumper with a hundred other cars, i’d been watching the tree-lined pastures of our neighborhood; over a twentyfour hour period, they’d all turned a rusty golden yellow. the autumn in central texas looks nothing like the resplendent reds and purples of my northeastern childhood, but the sudden change of scenery here took my breath away. because i was certain that there would be no autumn here. that the green leaves would simply disappear, leaving bare branches for winter.

when i arrived home, little j was snuggling with her nana (h’s mum). h was in the kitchen, making an election night pork roast with asparagus and mashed potatoes. uncle g soon showed up with a box of fine hardy’s wine. and our night of returns-watching began.

what surprised me last night was how smoothly and undramatic it all went down. we were watching the indecision show, and jon stewart just put out the word that obama had won. a few minutes later came mccain’s gracious concession, and a bit later, obama’s lovely speech. last night felt like an exhale, like finally we had a proper election where a clear winner was decided on election night, and now we can move on with the rest of our lives. and it felt like a frozen moment sort of memory, as i whispered in my daughter’s ear, we will always remember this night, little one. we wept a little, toasted a little, kissed and hugged, and went to bed, where we all slept soundly allll night long.

this morning, life felt sober and stark again, with the news of prop 8’s likely passing. i ache for my friends already married there, as they grapple with the ramifications of the proposition. and i am so angry that a decision so ugly could mar the progress our country has made. after tweeting such, my dear friend, angela wrote me the following note:

I think that prop 8 is hugely uphill not just
because of ignorance and fear but also because our culture in this
country is NOT pro life. I don’t mean that in the evangelical, baby
making understanding but rather the real Gospel understanding of what
it means to be pro life….supporting PEOPLE, taking care and being
loving, moving against unjust wars, taking the death penalty away this
sort of thing.

I HOPE that this election will start to wear down the old way of
thinking, it is at the very least a step in the direction we need to
go…but sadly, we’re just not there yet in the big picture.

I wish it was different because it affects you personally RIGHT NOW
and that totally sucks. Keep using your voice because it needs to be
there…this is not an issue of doctrine, it’s an issue of care. I
wish we did that better in this country.

and so with that spirit of care, i will continue to write here, to love my fambly in public, to be the drop of water in the big pond of change however i can.

if the leaves in my neighborhood can change so unsuspectingly into a beautiful new season, maybe there is hope for us.

ETA: a friend just sent me a quote from the san francisco chronicle:

As the vote counting continued this morning, opponents of Prop. 8 filed a lawsuit directly with the state Supreme Court – whose May 15 ruling legalized same-sex marriage – asking the justices to overturn the measure.
The suit argued that Prop. 8 would change the California Constitution in such fundamental ways – taking important rights away from a minority group – that it amounted to a constitutional revision, which requires approval by the Legislature before being submitted to the voters. The case was filed by the American Civil Liberties Union, Lamda Legal and the National Center for Lesbian Rights.
The same groups asked the court before the election to remove Prop. 8 from the ballot on those grounds. The justices refused, but left the door open for a post-election challenge.

what do you all think?