so, on 29 march, wearefambly became a whole year old. amazing how quickly the year has passed. to celebrate, i promptly got sick.
so here i am two days later, just having finished a steaming cup of hot spiced tea made lovingly by my beautiful h, and i’ve got this immense pressure in my chest, an unproductive cough, and fluorescent yellow phlegm slowly making its way out of my lungs. mmmm. i feel like i’ve been chainsmoking. for the record, there has been no chainsmoking. or non-chain smoking for that matter. i’m dizzy and whiny and want my mom. i think i may drag my sorry ass to the doctor today, in hopes for pregnancy-safe medication that will help me kick this whateveritis before it gets worse. because robitussin? benadryl? you are not doing your jobs effectively. and i am afraid that this is the beginning of bronchitis.
sparky, meanwhile, seems pretty oblivious to my pathetic condition. she is a busy fetus, working on her moves to the chicken dance. seriously. if i lean in close to what used to be my belly button, i can hear the faint sounds of the infamous polka (clap clap clap clap). she especially loves the shake your wings part of the dance (clap clap clap clap). shaking her tail feathers is a close second, however.
so yes. this little blog is a year old now, begun a mere three weeks before we dove into the mindfuck that is ttc. i had no idea what a toll the process would take on my relationship with h–this really deserves a whole post of its own. perhaps soon.–or if it would actually result in a real live pregnancy, followed by a real live baby. and yet, here we are. 29 weeks pregnant. miraculous. still does.not.compute sometimes.
we have been blessed. our ttc journey was comparatively short: five months, four tries, the realization that i was only ovulating on one side, a little clomid, a yoga ball and a fertility stone, and we made it to phase two. as a woman who was diagnosed with endometriosis 9 years ago and was told not to get my hopes up for ever getting pregnant, our “easy” ttc road was a shock, really. i am in awe of my body’s ability to prove doctors wrong. i am in awe of sparky, finding her way to us despite the odds.
and to my friends still on the ttc path, i hold out so much hope for you. i ache when you experience loss, and i rejoice in your hardwon victories. i only hope that i can be as present for you as you have been for me along the way.
you are my sisters, and part of my story. our story.