it’s the end of another nauseated day here in austin, texass. i worked a full day yesterday, and was consequently nothing but a useless lump all day today. and so i spent another day in bed. it’s hard not to feel defeated. luckily, i’m too exhausted to feel defeated. so i win. i guess.
tomorrow is our next appointment with midwife michele. yesterday, i went to dr c’s office to sign the medical records release form, and ms no social skills receptionist who clearly does not like me since i’m leaving the fold told me they’d “probably” be able to fax them before my appt. are you kidding me? my bets are on no records being in michele’s hands tomorrow. what say you?
we get to hear the heartbeat tomorrow. i can’t articulate how excited i am to hear sparky for the first time. and i don’t think i can articulate just how scared i am that we won’t hear a heartbeat, that something will have gone wrong. even though i’m growing. even though i’m so effing sick. i’ve tried to temper my fear with a whole lot of hope, but i’m so afraid.
maybe, after hearing that strong, fast heartbeat, i will feel relief, and more confidence that i will actually be giving birth in six months. i could use a little relief.
hearing the heart beat is the best!
So sorry that you are still feeling sick.
When I switched docs it took my old doc’s office 4 weeks to send my chart (all of 6 pages) to my new doc…what is that power play about???
Good luck on your appt and I hope you enjoy hearing that strong and fast little heart beat!!
Enjoy that beautiful heartbeat!!
Hope you have a great appointment! I was so scared about not hearing anything when I was carrying M that I just about puked in the doctor’s office…but then it came through right away, loud and clear, and it was the best thing ever.
don’t stress. just let that hope wrap your poor, exhausted self up tight and relax. it WILL be a wonderful moment! enjoy.